That's My Ryan, Always Peeing on People

If pictures are truly worth 1,000 words, than this shot of Maci -- and the befuddled, bewildered look she gives when desperately attempting to understand things clearly beyond her God-given level of comprehension -- should give you a more accurate portrayal of what life is like for new parents than anything I could possibly write.

In the past three days, we've been robbed of all sleep, bore witness to the unholy fillings of endless diapers, and been peed on more often than the accuser at an R. Kelly trial.

But we're still standing.

Despite the challenges, Lauren is flourishing in her new role. She's been running on pure adrenaline for nearly a week now, but her body refuses to crash. In a lot of ways, being a new Mom is like those alcohol-fuled spring break getaways we enjoyed in college, only with more exposed breasts and slightly less vomit. I keep expecting her to fall asleep mid sentence like that narcoleptic chick from Duece Bigalow, but she just keeps going strong.