Irreconcilable Differences

Each of us, at critical junctures in our lives , are forced to make difficult choices; choices that will go a long way in defining who we are and what we are to become. These choices are not for the weak; they neither tolerate ambivalence nor leave room for hedging. Due diligence is of little help, for these are choices for which no empirical evidence exists to assist you. Instead, you must take a long look within yourself and ask: what do I believe?

Republican or Democrat? Creationism or Evolution? Good Times or What’s Happenin'?

And or course, when you live in the shadows of four world class winter resorts: skier or snowboarder???

Well, my wife has spoken...

She will be a snowboarder.

This weekend brought the fabled Ski Swap to our town, and it was about damn time. We’ve been hearing about this thing since August. In short, people and vendors from around town bring new and used equipment they no longer want/have room for to the High School, where they are sold off in a two-day frenzy, with 20% off all purchases going to the school district. Like they need it. These schools, after all, have more Escalades in the parking lot than a Wu-Tang concert.

Anyhoo, Lauren volunteered to work the Swap, which of course, meant I was volunteered to work the swap as well. On the plus side, volunteering meant we could shop during closed hours, before the riffraff came rolling through.

We had planned on buying ski boots for Lauren to complete the skis/bindings package I surprised her with in May, but sometime between Friday morning and 6 PM, the plans changed.

Lauren -- and only she knows her reasons -- had her moment of clarity, and decided to forsake two planks for one. She is now a snowboarder, and whether she knows it or not, her life will never be the same.

Clothes will grow ever baggier. A general indifference to all things will soon follow. Dreadlocks are virtually inevitable. Chances are good you guys won’t even recognize her when she comes home for Christmas.

Lauren would have posted about this momentous occasion herself, but she's at work tonight. By work, of course, I mean an all-expense paid trip to Vail consisting of dinner, a night in a ski condo, and the morning at a day spa, all courtesy of the parents of her students. Don’t worry, she’s not alone, as the gift was extended to ALL of the school’s kindergarten teachers.

I must say, either she’s got it pretty good at this school, or I’m the victim of an elaborate ruse and my wife is having an affair. On second thought, maybe it’s best if I don’t think about that too much. Good night.