Hi! I'm Tony. You may remember me from such mildly amusing blog posts as "That Day I Went Skiing" and "Adventures in Babyshitting."
As you might have noticed, the blog you've come to know and read with relative disinterest has ceased to be. For four years, every detail of my relatively mundane existence has been chronicled on this here website: the dizzying highs, the terrifying lows, even the creamy middles. And now it's gone. Why?
Because you're all sick, that's why. No, not you. You seem to be on the level. I'm talking about the rest of you deviants.
This should come as no news to you, but the world is overrun with disturbed, nefarious individuals like child predators, identity thieves, and Pat Robertson.
Over time, we tend to become numb to this fact, particularly when we live in the insulated and protective "bubble" that is a small mountain town.
But then one morning you wake up, flip open the paper, and read about yet another act of unspeakable depravity, and it dawns on you that entirely too much of your family's personal information lives on the internet in the form of your blog. And this scares the shit out of you.
Call me paranoid if you will, but I've made the hard decision to archive all my old writings and start anew. After all, January 1st is not merely the time for fad diets, half-hearted attempts at exercise, and other meaningless gestures. It's a time to reinvent oneself and start fresh.
So the blog will continue, only in the more standard, "anonymous" blog form. It pains me to do it more than you can imagine, as I truly believe the only thing that made my blog readable was its honesty. People seemed to enjoy watching a young family grow in real time, while struggling with a bit of adversity along the way.
Obviously, my future posts won't provide that same window. This will disappoint you if you stop by with the sole hope of seeing videos of the boy or the misses or the dog, or reading detailed accounts of our everyday activities. But that's the way it's gotta' be. I've got a family now, and its incumbent upon me to take whatever steps necessary to ensure the safety of my most cherished love ones. And this way, my wife and son will be protected, too.
Every cloud has a silver lining, of course, and this situation is no different. While my newfound anonymity may cause this place to lose its personal touch, it should also result in an increased ability to sprinkle my writing with gratuitous profanities without fear of reprisal. I'll be free! Hell Damn Ass Free!!!!
As always, there will be Facebook for the more personal aspects of our lives; at least there you can rest assured pictures of your kid aren't being drooled over by some prisoner in Ohio.
Hopefully, you read the blog not merely to stay connected, but because you were also able to extract some small measure of enjoyment out of my writing. I assure you, if that was the case, you can still stop by and get your fill of fart jokes, opinionated ramblings, and Simpsons references, both obscure and popular.
The entire archive of my prior posts have been moved to another blog, and marked private. If you have any interest in reading the archives -- and if you do, your loneliness saddens me -- leave your email address in the comments section and I'll "approve" you for access.
Talk to you soon.
